First Heartbreak

For one year we had together

My love, I thought it will last forever.

Yet, I was wrong. Both of us did not hold long

Now, my heart keeps singing a sad song.


I pray this pain will be healed

And myself, I will rebuild.

This is the process I must go through

My love, in everything I still thank you.






The Why

“Why do you do what you want to do?Do you have passion for it? If you have a passion for something and are committed to seeing your vision come true, you’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. And when you start to struggle, you’ll dig down deep and think about why you want it so bad.”

Chapter 14(First Paragraph, Page 127) of A Season to Remember: Faith in the Midst of Storm




Restless in the Waiting

the grizzle grist mill


When we have to wait on the Lord to answer a prayer, it can often be a grueling process. I’m not talking about those prayers that we just think He should answer, because it seems like a good idea, or because we wish things could be a little more comfortable and the answer would make it so. I’m talking about those prayers when we are desperate for the answer we are praying, life and death situations, like when the circumstances are so dire, that if He doesn’t come through, life will seriously be altered. Those are the moments when “waiting on the Lord” can become incredibly difficult.

When we have to wait and wonder if His answer might be “no” or when we have to wait and wonder if He will answer at all, those are the days when waiting can feel as if you’re watching the earth in…

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With you, Alaska. Always.

Why? Why does it have to be like that? I really thought Alaska could wrap the 2016 All- Filipino Conference in the PBA. Yet again, I ended up being hurt. I really thought that they will win the series. What? Up three games to none. One more and the three- year drought would finally come to an end. One more and Dondon Hontiveros will finally have his first All- Filipino Championship. And here comes the opposing team, they just made history. Down 3 games, the next four they won. Truth be told, I was really frustrated the night they had lost Game 7. I wanted to cry. But I can’t. I am preparing my lesson for the next day (I am in my internship). I won’t let my roommates witness how crazy I am in the name of basketball. I just love the game so much.

While making instructional materials, I can’t take my mind off the game. Fourth quarter really was a like a nightmare. I can’t bear to watch the whole period. I can’t bear to watch RJ Jazul and Chris Banchero cry after the game. I did not even try to search it in Youtube. 😀 They really stepped- up in the finals. They made a difference in every game, especially in Game 7. But they really just fell short in winning. Efforts were there. That’s given. I just don’t know what happened. The championship they almost had. Sadly, just almost. It slipped away from their hands, once again. Three conferences they were in the finals, same opponent- same result—– first runner- up.

I keep on wondering when is that time gonna come. When is that time Alaska will reign once again in the PBA. Yup! I am just a fan. But, I tell you it is so frustrating real bad when the team you’re rooting for won’t win. All I can do is move on. Look forward for the next conferences—- hoping and praying that along the way, they’re gonna get a championship again. I believe. I should.

Frustration is part of the game. But I must know how to handle it. Keep calm and trust the process. They’re gonna get stronger next time around. For sure they will.

With you,Alaska. Kanunay (always).


Week 1 (January 18-22,2016)


Teaching is a real deal.  No more doubts about it.  I realized that this profession is a complex thing. I mean, you do not take for granted every single day you impart knowledge to these children. They rely on you. They look up to you.They seem not interested sometimes in your teaching but of course they want to learn. Everyday,  they look forward for something new.

It’s not easy at first in controlling the children. They seem not to obey me when I want them to behave or stay silent.My mind is telling me that,  “Hey, you’re still an intern. Don’t get too consumed by the fact that you have to embrace being an authority to them”.And then I was wrong. From the very first. I should have not smiled to them. They took advantage of it. They thought I am a kind, soft intern. I learned my lesson so on the second day (January 21,2016) of my teaching, I make a mean face. (At times I still smile of course. I don’t want to get stressed.) While teaching, I see to it that I make an impression to them– that they should respect me, that they should listen to me,  that I can also do what my cooperating teacher can do.

Another thing  I’ve realized is that classroom management is vital in teaching.  You have to relay a message to them that you are in authority. From a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), I assess myself as 7.Not that bad. I know that as I continue in this process,  I know I can and I will improve. It will take time. I am OK with that.

This first week of teaching had me gone crazy, almost. Yes it’s a hyperbole. I just want to say that all the preparations I made every lesson I think is not enough. Inside of me is telling that I can do more. But my body speaks otherwise.  This week is full of late night sleeps, indeed.  Hopefully next week, I can do better, teach better. I take this as a competition not against to anyone but to myself. The Lord will help me in this battle–this I know.


Day 1.January 15,2016
Finally,my 9-month off season has come to an end.(One whole semester + two months not in the school.  It was tough.) Haha


(Me and my roommate, Esther)

Today is our first day of deployment as interns. I was feeling “anxervous” last night, at the same time excited. This is it! It is now time to get serious and focus on my thing–practice teaching. Upon arriving in Dadiangas West Central Elem School, it was their flag ceremony. Wow. It’s a big population.

I’ve heard comments that pupils in this gradeschool are smart. Also, that an intern last year cried because of her critic teacher. Now, that makes me more nervous. Will I be assigned to that teacher? I hope not. 🙂
In the morning, I just stayed in the Grade 2 chairperson’s office. My cooperating teacher was not around. (Nakahinga ng malalim. Lol)


In the afternoon, the teachers were having a seminar regarding the difficulties encountered when teaching, Learning Action Cell (LAC).  That was really an informative session.Subject teachers confidently tells their personal experiences in their respective rooms. Lots of laughters was shared also. And I was opened to the idea that teaching should not be taken for granted. It’s no joke. The future of your pupils lies on you. And it is the chance to make an impact to them—to inspire them and make a difference in the society.


Regarding the time on how I prepared for today, it was awful. I mean, to wake up as early as 4:45am, take bath at 5 (hooh! I wish I could cast a spell on the faucet and turn the very cold to a warmer water.), and travel for 30 minutes from dorm to city. Like yeah? I will be doing that for two months? Yup! I’m up to the challenge. I should be. Bring it on, PT. I must seize and take advantage for the opportunity. This long process is not gonna be smooth for sure. I’m OK with that. Success is much sweeter when you go through all of it (ups and downs). I claim victory, in  JESUS’ name!



Making Your Emotions Work For You

June 3, 2015

Wednesday, 4pm (Philippine Time)

I was so bored. Have nothing much to do. So I said to myself that I should be doing something worth my time. And I saw this book at the shelf of my sister’s. I targeted to finish reading this book today. But sad to say I wasn’t able to- my tooth aches (so painful). Anyway, I am halfway through it.

I began to love reading it more because I felt that this book is really for me. I am too emotional. From the title itself, my mind is telling that I should grab this and sit down with it.  I highlighted some quotable ideas and verses from the Bible.


Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. 

The book also reveals three necessary ways if you are to change your life and the circumstances-the desire to change, a commitment to change and a follow-through.

In my observation, it really is not enough that you want to change. There must be the desire and then the action to prove that you really want change.

The book also discusses how to deal with anger and how to forgive and it’s nature. I just want to thank God that He lets me read this. I will resume reading tomorrow. Toothache really bothers me. (Actually, while writing this post,  my tooth is still aching.